Navigating the teen years can be challenging, especially given the pressure of unrealistic beauty standards set by society through social media. Every scroll on platforms like Instagram exposes teens to images of seemingly flawless bodies and edited faces that can warp their self-image. So, how can parents step in to help their teens develop a positive body image during such a transformative time?
Challenges Faced by Teens Regarding Body Image
Today’s adolescents are constantly influenced by external factors that shape their perception of beauty. Between peer pressure, celebrity culture, and the omnipresence of social media, they often feel inadequate about their physical appearance.
For instance, a study found that 70% of teenage girls feel insufficient when comparing themselves to the images they see online. Teens may see influencers flaunting idealized versions of beauty, leading to harmful self-talk and diminished self-esteem. Moreover, research shows that about 54% of teens report feeling increased anxiety due to social media usage, particularly regarding body image.
This pressure is compounded by the increasing prevalence of edited photos or physical changes to their body (fillers, liposuction, etc.) leading teens to believe they must conform to unattainable beauty standards. Unfortunately, society often prioritizes looks over talents and intelligence. Therefore, it is vital for parents to nurture a sense of self-worth that transcends appearances.
Ways Parents Can Support Positive Self-Esteem in Adolescents
So, what can parents do to help their teenagers foster a healthier self-image? Here are several effective strategies:
1. Open Up the Conversation
Start by creating a safe space for discussion about body image. Encourage your teen to share their feelings about their bodies. For example, ask open-ended questions like, "What do you feel when you see posts on social media?" By actively listening and avoiding judgment, you make it easier for your teen to express their insecurities. Also ask your teen, "Do you feel better or worse about yourself after scrolling? If the answer is worse, help them to limit their screen time (you can do this on the iPhone, probably Android as well), unfollow platforms that make don't make them feel good. Help them to recognize what sites are uplifting and make them laugh or feel happy. If say they feel it is not a problem, ask them how many hours they think they are spending each day on social media (you can check this together in the settings option of their phone, they and you might be surprised). This can open a discussion about possibly cutting back a little or a lot. Ff they are not open to making any changes (and it does seem to be concerning), this can signal a bigger problem like an addiction that might need further professional help from a therapist or psychologist. There is no "right" or "wrong" time limit, but keep in mind during a school day, they are supposed to be in classes for 8 hours of that day so if your teen is active on their phone 6 of those 8 hours, that seems like it could be very problematic.
2. Promote Health Over Appearance
Shift the focus from how bodies look to overall health and well-being. Involve your teen in enjoyable physical activities, such as joining a local dance class or participating in a community sports team. A survey revealed that 72% of teens who engaged in regular physical activity reported a more positive body image, proving the connection between health and self-esteem. If active sports is not of any interest to your teen, work with them to figure out some kind of exercise they would be willing to engage in regularly (weight lifting, walking the dog, cleaning the pool, checking the mail, anything small is a start).
3. Model Positive Behavior
Your actions can speak volumes. Share your own experiences with body image, focusing on acceptance and self-love. Make a conscious effort to avoid negative self-talk in their presence, as your attitude can influence their perceptions.
When It Might Be Time to Intervene
Teach your teen to engage critically with the media they consume. Your teen should not have 24/7 access to his/her phone, too much of a good thing can be unhealthy, and this is dedefinitely one of those things. Sometimes, it might take more parent intervention by limiting the amount of time they spend on social media (you can set these limits on your child's iPhone). Ideally, you want to start this early, before your child even has the privilege of a phone. Set the expectation that a phone is a privilege, not a right. Phones should not be with a teen in their room when they go to sleep. If it's too late for that, see if your teen wants to take some ownership of their social media consumption by setting a limit on what they think is healthy. Help them stick to it (you can set these limits on the iPhone, or through the Bark app, which also notifies you if your teen accesses inappropriate content or receives texts that are risky or harmful). If your teen refuses any limits, you might want to meet with a therapist/psychologist to work on problem-solving this issue together. This is recommended over just yanking the phone from them completely cold turkey.
Encouraging Healthy Attitudes Towards Body Image and Self-Acceptance
Fostering a positive body image in teens is crucial for their long-term mindset. Here are some effective strategies:
1. Foster Inclusivity
Expose your teen to diverse representations of beauty. Seek out books, movies, and social media accounts that showcase different body types and backgrounds. This exposure reinforces the notion that beauty is varied and not confined to a narrow standard.
It's sad how our kids go from carefree to so concerned with body image, but it might be good to remind your teen that there was a time that this didn't matter so much. Check out this Dove commercial from the Super Bowl:
2. Practice Gratitude for Your Body
Encourage your teen to appreciate their bodies for their capabilities. Create a gratitude journal for them to list things their body allows them to do, such as running, dancing, or playing sports. Focusing on functionality can foster a more positive body image. The point is to help them to generate other aspects of their life that they can be proud of, and appearance is just one part of an individual. Practicing gratitude does have research to support it a positive self-image, it's not just a cliche recommendation because other people have said it before, see https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10693196/ for a deep dive.
3. Consider Individual Therapy
Individual Therapy such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) can be a very powerful intervention when a teen works with a therapist/psychologist to counter automatic negative thoughts and recognize patterns that lead to distorted thinking (all or nothing--I'm either skinny or fat, catastrophizing--I'll never get a boyfriend/girlfriend if I stay this way, fortune telling--everyone already thinks I look ugly".)
4. Educate on the Dangers of Diet Culture
Discuss diet culture and its potential impact on mental health. Teach your teen to identify and avoid harmful diet trends, emphasizing a balanced relationship with food. Understanding the difference between healthy eating and dieting can lead to a healthier mindset. See https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/dangers-diet-culture/
5. Encourage Self-Care Practices
Incorporate self-care routines that promote self-love and body acceptance. Activities like mindfulness exercises or indulging in favorite hobbies can significantly improve their relationship with themselves.
Self-Love is a Life Long Journey
In a world dominated by filtered images, it is essential for parents to guide their teens toward healthy body image and self-acceptance. By encouraging open discussions, challenging unrealistic standards, and nurturing individuality, parents can help their teens appreciate their genuine selves.
The path to self-love is a continual journey, filled with moments of encouragement and support. Together, parents and teens can work towards embracing their bodies for their capabilities and celebrating who they truly are. If your family is struggling to help your teen with body image issues and self-esteem, consider individual therapy--a therapist/psychologist can be a very powerful ally and support for your teen (and you trying to figure out the best way to help your child.
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